Freezer Burn

The world is cold and it burns.

But if time has taught me anything
I have learned that with every single passing day
The burn will smolder less and less

Until, one day, it will be nothing more than a tiny, flickering ember that has settled among the icy ashes of a memory that one more time I went through the fire

And survived.

 

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He restoreth my soul

23 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.
3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.
4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.

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I’m having a terrible time remembering stuff and connecting dots. Yesterday I stumbled badly on the 23rd Psalm, the only verse I have known by memory since childhood. Advancing age? Post-concussion syndrome? Whatever it is, it is very distressing to not be able to remember in a way that was once quite easy.

I’ve had a struggle with memory this past year. I haven’t written about it much because I want to focus on getting healthy for my own sense of self. But I got shaken up badly last December in a car accident that in many ways turned my life upside down at just the point when I seemed to be getting some stability. My brain has not been a happy camper since, and I have had to make some adjustments and face some challenges. So these past 11 months have been about doctor visits, being gentle, acceptance and extreme self-care.

I recently was listening to a hilarious audio book in which the late Nora Ephron spoke of how the senior-moment has become the Google-moment. I have a Bible on my laptop for easy reference, and Google is even quicker for looking up specific verses. So, voila! 23rd Psalm! I’ve put it on my desktop and I’m making it part of my daily routine, along with everything else I’m doing to recuperate, to read it in order to re-memorize it.

I think it will make an excellent balm for what ails me.